Buyers Wanted

      I went to a funeral yesterday,  The deceased was my 87 year old uncle.  He was also my godfather in the Catholic tradition.  John was truly salt of the earth, a genuine good person who lived a life worth emulating.  He was married to my aunt for lots of years (60+) and raised seven responsible, good people.  His children range in age from mid 40's to 60ish and, though I don't know most of them well, I have a huge amount of respect for all of them.

     John and Lucille were devout Catholics.  For their entire lives together they wrapped themselves and their children in the parish, the beliefs of the church, and the rituals and traditions of the faith.  Because their religion was essential to John and Lucille and to most (if not all) their grown children,  the funeral service reflected this value system.  I appreciated the opportunity to sit in the back of the church and observe and reflect on what unfolded in front of me.  I was raised in the Catholic faith but chose to set it aside when I was in college.  So, although the service did not reflect my current way of thinking, I was familiar with all parts of the ritual and I knew the beliefs behind the words and gestures.

    Although I know the beliefs behind the words and gestures, I just can't buy them.  I was impressed with the homily (aka sermon) delivered by another uncle who has been a Catholic priest for almost 50 years.  In his remarks, Fr Ralph talked about death being on a par with birth.  That is, when a child is born, he/she leaves the safe, familiar, comfortable world of the womb and is pushed out into a world of a million sensations - all new and most intense.  And the new born baby has no other choice but to ride it out and see where it all goes.  For the most part, most people would say the ride in the new world was worth it.  And so it goes:  when we die, we are being thrust into a new world and wonders await us there.  Sounds fine to me. I am open to what might come next.  I might even say I am curious.

     The way I heard it, Fr Ralph also talked about how people need a faith community in order to sustain their beliefs in Jesus Christ and all that He offers.  I guess that's where I'm stuck.  I don't have any problems with Jesus.  I like what He taught  but I also know that his words and life were recorded by people who may have distorted his words and actions for various reasons. The Catholic Church grew into a powerful institution and I don't want to participate in the rigidity and often close minded precepts that mark the twenty first century Church.  I don't know why Fr.  Ralph thinks we need a faith community.  I do need people and connections, no doubt.  But I don't want to be told what I must believe.  I have a finely honed sense of right and wrong by my own standards and I most certainly hold myself accountable. Do I need a community to keep me i check?  No, I do a pretty good job of that all by myself.  I have made mistakes.  Plenty of them.  But I live now with all those voices from the past.  I grew up feeling as if I could never be good enough for God - and now?  Now I think God would love me just the way I am.

   Don't get me wrong.  I am happy that people who want a faith community can have a faith community.  I'm just not comfortable with the notion that spiritual life is a one size fits all thing.  I am not disrespectful of any faith tradition. But please don't tell me I have to buy it.