Hope Drifts

“Remember, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” 
― Stephen King

    There was a time when I wished my parents had named me Hope.  The name offered such a positive outlook.  Who couldn't love a girl named Hope?

  It seems to me that hope is an essential ingredient in life.  It is not necessarily The Essential ingredient but without hope, how does anyone make anything change?  And when does hope become a goal?  Or are they always and already the same thing?

  Just wondering.

A Visit from Spring

      It was yet another challenging week at work.  I did my best to ride it out and yet this morning I felt sad and frustrated.  In a funk, for sure .  Some of the funk is about the increasing number of kids who are getting such a difficult start in life.  This week alone,  I dealt with one girl who had used a needle to carve frightening words into her upper thigh - deep, etched carving that will forever remind this girl that she is a "worthless piece of shit" and that she "deserves to die."



      Another girl came to me with her story of literally being caught in the middle between her parents who have not yet been able to resolve issues from a divorce that occurred eight plus years ago.  This girl swallowed a bottle of pills about two weeks and was hospitalized overnight.

       Ugh.  I don't want to regale you with the other stories of the week.  I guess I am searching for my own answers to why such young kids have to be in such pain and how I can change the patterns.  I was told by a high school student this week that the only way to do anything is one conversation at a time.  So slow.  And I don't have time for those conversations..... IEP's, yard duty, club moderation, parent emails, public relations work, board reports, scheduling, staff meetings, impromptu subbing for teachers who get sick in the day, serving as the after school crossing guard, building SARB cases -- so much more - not complaining - just saying, I need to work double time in order to be most effective.

  

       So why then do I have these hopeful photos of budding flowers? Because today winter parted her curtain and spring peeked through the crack!  It is NOT the real deal but a sneak preview.  I am amazed that spring has a feeling but she does.  When I took a walk downtown this afternoon with Sonny Boy, we were in jeans and jackets but the air felt as if spring were checking out our town, wondering if people remembered who she was.  She was a bit skippy and bounced around in and out of clouds.  But she spilled enough sunshine to make the trees and vines think that she was serious about kicking it with us for awhile.  I knew her secret but I decided not to tell anyone.  I could smile at her and play our game.

     The sadness with which I began my day melted into the air.  I gradually let go of my discouragement.  Perhaps that is what hope is about - setting aside frustrations and fears, and maybe the recognition that you are doing the best you can and tomorrow is another day.  Who knows?

Intoxicating

Hope. Nothing is more intoxicating.

INKDEATH, CORNELIA FUNKE

     If by intoxicating, you mean exciting, inspiring, appealing, or lively, then I am with you, Cornelia.  Hope does have a captivating quality.  It makes me want me to go forward.  It evokes laugher.  It says hang on, life is worth living.

     The world is not a hopeful place at the moment.  Way too many tea party people.  Way too many people without jobs, losing their homes and their confidence.  Way too many children going to bed hungry around the world.  Way too much damage done to Mother Earth and way too little effort to stop the damage.  There is still global religious persecution.  There is still  hate and unfounded anger.  There is still greed and still far too many people taking advantage of other people.  Up close and personal, life has way too many moments of emptiness and disappointment. Sucks.

     Slivers of hope do appear here and there.  There is a greater acceptance of GLBTQ community.  There appears to be more tolerance for racial differences.  Individuals and nations do reach out to each other in times of crisis.  Baseball championships are won!  Babies are born.  Friends hold your hand and tell you everything is going to be okay.  I suppose hope does spring eternal, heh?