"The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history."
Lemony Snicket
Okay, I'm putting it right out there. All of my life I have been afraid of tears. They say I am weak. They say there is something wrong with me. Buck up, baby. Show nothing lest you be seen.
Here's the rule: you can cry. Just not in front of anyone. Okay, maybe in front of your best friend but that's it. Cry at any other time and you are less than. My parents did not cry, my older brothers did not cry. As a matter of fact, if you did cry, the response was, "Stop crying, young lady, or I will give you something to cry about."
One exception to the rule is death. Death is too big to hide from. I even saw my dad tear up when his mother was buried. Tears are, indeed, a surrender to the power of death. Tears are sadness, anger, frustration, happiness made real. Made visible. Tears connect us humans in all of our deepest places. Exposing those places? What a risk!
Lately I've been thinking that I might want to change the rule. Maybe tears actually signal strength? Maybe they say "Yes, yes, I know my pain. And, yes, I know your pain. You are not alone. Nor am I."
After all, let's get real. Pain is a link for all humans. For me to go inside and then deliver to the public my heart and soul? That takes strength. Maybe even courage. My tears connect me and I can be known. Scary.
You're not alone
I'm with you, I'm lonely too
What's that song
can't be sung by two?
A broken home, a broken heart
isolated and afraid
Open up this is a raid
I wanna get it through to you
You're not alone
You're not alone, every night
I stand in your place
Every tear on every face
Tastes the same
A broken home, a broken heart
isolated and afraid
Open up this is a raid
I wanna get it through to you
You're not alone
A broken home, a broken heart
there's no need to be afraid
Open up this is a raid
I wanna get it through to you
You're not alone
I wanna get it through to you
You're not alone
