Invisible

So Invisible

Blending into shadows
melting into darkness

a fragment of a photo,
missing in the frame

met with blank faces 
no thingness

hands reach through
talk around, above, 
not to

always invisible
until seen
until able to see

So invisible you might even forget yourself

Time, Money, and Energy. For What?

      Melanie  over at Is This The Middle  wrote a reflective post the other day in which she considered her  "Ashley Judd Moment".  She included a request that people make an effort not to reconsider how they talk about women.  Her point was that "pervasive negativity about women and their looks has got to stop".  I thought that the blog piece was insightful and honest.  The comments were too, especially this one  from by blogger friend  Word Nerd:

       "As a young mom, I was overly-critical of my "I've had babies" belly. Pretty much all of the women I knew at that time saw themselves in much that same way. Focused on the flaws...... We need to cut other women a break. We need to cut ourselves a break. And we need to stop believing somewhere deep inside that how we look matters in any real way."


    This observation is not news to any thinking woman out there but it stopped me dead in my tracks.  What is it about the whole appearance thing that makes so many women put so much time, money, and energy into how they look?  I care enough about myself to always want to appear (in public anyway) in presentable clothing with my hair at least brushed.  I am not necessarily dressed in up to date and put together in fashionable style but you won't find me at the store in my flannel pj pants and a too large tee shirt.  


      The issue, for me, is why is appearance so important?  What are we going for here?  Woman spend millions of dollars on "makeup solutions" and designer clothes.  They spend hours at beauty salons and nail centers.  They spend countless amounts of personal energy worrying about weight gain and wrinkles.  Imagine what positive changes could be wrought world wide if that money, time, and personal energy were put in the service some cause that is important to that woman: animal cruelty, environmental issues, social justice issues, whatever.


       I look back on photos of me in my late teens and wow! What a gorgeous smile and beautiful young woman.  But, I can assure you, I NEVER saw that young woman then.  I only saw a flawed female - and I am embarrassed now to say that.  And, the even sadder truth is that, until just a few years ago, I always found myself physically flawed - too this, not enough that.   Why is it different now?  I don't know.  I just dont' think about it much anymore.  I still want to look presentable but, for the most part, I spend my time, money, and energy on more valuable pursuits. Maybe it's because I am growing into the truly invisible years - the years when it is almost impossible to be seen. 


        This post is wandering all over the place.  Too many themes going on here but it is all jumbled in my head.

So think about answering any of these questions:


Why do women focus on appearance?  Do you?
I love what Word Nerd says about how is it that we believe that how we look matters in any real way?  What do you think?
The thing that attracts me the most in other people is the sparkle in their eyes and their smile.  How about you?  What do you notice in other people?


       I would love to hear your thoughts.