Monday, January 16, 2012

Be Curious

     About a year ago I wrote a post about surprises.  The gist of that piece was that there is a season for everything and maybe surprises only come early in life.  Good surprises, that is.  Bad surprises come all the time but the stuff that influences the path in a positive and life changing way seems to happen in the first two thirds of life.  When I wrote about the humdrum of grownup life,  I was mired in the middle of malaise.  No where to go but to work and to the couch.  At work, I had to be on my game, the one who could/would make decisions and take care of everyone and their issues.  The couch was made more comfortable by drugs of choice (books, writing, thinking and an evening glass of wine) but all that work and the couch were not changing anything.  No surprises.  No novelty to life.

    I'm not saying it's a whole lot different now.  I still find it hard to believe that something good could surprise me at this point.  Too many people say to me, "Wait until you have grandchildren.  They are the best surprise you can imagine."  First, I assure you, I am in NO rush to have grandchildren.  It's okay if they never show up but I also don't want my kids becoming parents anytime in the next five years.  They need more time to figure out who they are before they become parents.  There have been changes in my work world but those have been a blend of fun (the addition of small children to the campus) and painful (the loss of my partner in crime).  Life among family members hasn't varied too dramatically - except for Mark's fantastic re-emergence.   In other words, life seems to be rolling along and I am still looking for passion, adventure, and a little weirdness.

     Just recently, however, I find some piece of hope happening.  I am learning to draw a box around some moments and then just stand outside the box and be curious.  I don't know what to expect while watching the box but perhaps there is transformation on the horizon.  One can only be curious.



I was in Times Square a couple of years ago and could not ignore this marquee for a Eugene O'Neill production.....

11 comments:

  1. I know what you mean about humdrum - work couch sleep and then all over again. But I also believe there is joy to be found - and it doesn't have to come by surprise. We may have to work at it and maybe a little attitude adjustment is necessary, but joy is there for the taking!

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  2. Being curious is a good thing; if we don't keep our eyes open then we miss stuff; it may be the little things in life, but that ultimately is the fabric of our day to day routine; I have also found that we can wait for surprises, or we can make them happen....after all, we are the magicians!

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  3. But, Noel, if you make them happen then they are not surprises! xoxoxox

    and, Judy, yes, there is joy to be found but how about surprises? How about something that is not in the plan?

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  4. Well, stop me if you heard this before. The biggest surprise of my life did not begin until July of 2010, culminating in my writing of "Six Days a Week," when I was 58. Now I surprise myself every day of the week. Yesterday, I found out at three that Casey wanted to go down to David's at four and get truckloads of wood. I took a forty minute power nap, and was more than up to the task, something that recently has been very tough, physically, to do. Surprise, surprise, and pleasant ones at that.

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  5. I don't know if surprises are as important to me at this point. I want to learn how to appreciate whatever blessed peaceful moments come my way. Oh, and also figure out that "stop and smell the roses thing". Okay, I will admit that if I found a lottery ticket at the bottom of my purse and before I threw it away I figured I should check just to make sure and it turned out to be the winningest lottery ticket of all times which would then mean that I could have whatever surprises I wanted, okay then that surprise might be important to me.

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  6. What continues to surprise me is the disproportionate delight I take in ridiculously tiny things--a good joke, a red-tailed hawk swooping across the highway in front of my van, the absurdity of a tattooed and heavily muscled 39-year-old man from the inner city singing Britney Spears (not even singing along, singing it to himself as he goes about his chores), etc, etc. Some days, I think that habit of disproportionate delight is the only thing that stands between me and a descent into real darkness.

    And curiosity is an excellent start--it implies an openness to and interest in possibility. Almost always a good thing.

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  7. Here's a surprise that happened to me today. Well, it was something hoped for, but I didn't know whether it would ever happen or not. A student, a very reserved, rather fierce-looking middle-aged biker dude, smiled at me. He has been looking at me quite solemnly for these first few classes at the beginning of the semester, and I was afraid he'd decide I was a goofball and drop the class. But he smiled a small smile, asked me a question after class, and I think he'll stay!
    Here's hoping for some pleasant surprises to come your way.

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  8. I had a dream last night in which we impulsively moved to the beach - the beach in the state of Washington. The house had spectacular windows with an ocean view. The ocean was rough, big, and scary. and then I discovered there was a wide gravel path that led down to the sea. I was not in love with this place. More I was scared by it. I missed my town, I missed my home. I liked lbeing at the beach but I also liked being able to be home and just visiting the beach. and, then In a clear voice, I heard the message: Watch out for what you wish for. You just might get it.
    Interesting dream. ANd I do like thinking about dreams. :)

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  9. Just wondering if the dream has any relation to the picture posted above?


    "I was in Times Square a couple of years ago and could not ignore this marquee for a Eugene O'Neill production...."

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  10. Noel, I haven't yet decided what the dream is telling me. I do know that I posted that photo because I want that passion in my life still.

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