Need to Read

 “Books are a uniquely portable magic.”
― Stephen King, On Writing

       Ah, yes, reading.   Reading is what I depend on to get me through the day, through life.  It is my current one-and-only-go-to drug. I start and end my day with reading and spend  much of my free time and my work time reading one thing or another.  Reading, in one form or another, is what motivates me to get out of bed in the morning.

 

      My first pleasure of the day (generally around 4:30 am) is to check my email and see if there is anything good.  "Anything good" means an email from friends or family, a link to some interesting article, a quote from Goodreads to start my day, stuff like that.  After I take a few minutes to compose any necessary responses or send any emails out, I check a few other on line pleasures:  Huffington Post, FaceBook, Blogger, New York Times - just a few minutes to see what might be happening out there.  If time permits or it works into part of my workout time, I check Flipboard on my ipad.

      When I get home from work, generally I simply want some space, some silence, and something to read. I always have several books "going" but there is a primary one.  This is the one I will grab after work.  At other times and in different moods, I will select one of probably ten different periodicals to which we subscribe.  I might also choose something related  to painting or writing or even something related to work.  It's all good.

        I wonder what it is about reading that satisfies me so much.  I would much rather read than watch television.  I would rather read than socialize in the evenings. Reading is my default for relaxation, for escape, for good times and bad times.  I seldom drive away from the house without putting something to read in the car (just in case I have a flat tire and I have to wait for AAA). I love exploring things to read and have an intimate relationship with Amazon.com for book reviews.  I have been on Goodreads for several years but just recently started using it for more than quotes.  My idea of a lovely Saturday afternoon is to wander around the local independent bookseller and drool over all the books.  

      Again, I ask:  what is it that is so satisfying?  Is it the escape?  My life is not so terrible!  I don't need an escape.  Perhaps reading plays with that part of my brain that wants excitement and novelty, wants to learn, wants to feel, wants to be alive.  I find myself reading and rereading some sections simply because I delight in the way the words sound.  Sometimes I am taken with the way the words make me feel, even when that feeling is ephemeral and difficult to describe.  I do think reading connects me to something. Sometimes the connection is to the author or to the content.  More often, the reading connects me to some part of myself.  So that's it!  Reading is about connecting.  Connecting allows me not to be alone in my doubts, my thoughts, my dreams, my imagination.

    Does this fit?  

             “We read books to find out who we are. What other people, real or imaginary, do and think and feel... is an essential guide to our understanding of what we ourselves are and may become.” 

                       Ursula K. LeGuin

    Yes, I kind of like that.

      

   

   

The Obvious

     How can I put this?  I would be lost without books.  Everyone read in my family of origin.  You would often find one or both of my parents enjoying books in their leisure time and all my brothers were big readers.  We had what was known as a children's library about a mile from our house.  This small county library almost exclusively contained children's books (though there was a very small adult collection that rotated regularly).  During the summer, the kids would take weekly walks to the library, carting eight books to and from (eight being the maximum you could check out).  Afternoons and evenings were about finding the best place to read and doing just that.  I remember realizing, while I was in college and grad school, that my recreational reading had diminished quite a bit.  Of course, I read voraciously for school (I took quite a few English classes simply for the pleasure of reading and analyzing literature - English was neither my major nor my minor) but that was not the same.  Once I managed to stop going to school so much, I picked back up the recreational reading habit and have not put it down since.  I enjoy primarily contemporary fiction, some mysteries, lots of biographies, some historical fiction, essay and poetry collections and a wide variety of non fiction books (mostly in the social sciences).  If I am ever fortunate enough to be able to retire, I know I will want to spend a good chunk of time every day simply reading the many books that are already on my "must read" list -- and I know there will be more books to add to that list!

In Love

       I am in love with Saturdays.  They are the perfect days.   I find the early morning hours to be most precious so I get up early.  The pace of the day is what transforms the morning.  I retrieve the dogs from their night space and they hang with me in the living room while I do some writing and usually check a few things on the computer.  A Saturday morning walk comes next and these solitary rambles are the best.  My weekday exercise vacillates between neighborhood walks and workouts on the elliptical cross-trainer.  The chatter in my head on weekdays often revolves around work but Saturday chatter?  It tends to be more in the moment, more eyes wide open to the view around me.  I walk for at least an hour, often more like ninety minutes.  We have a fair amount of hills (baby hills, really) in town and I get a kick out of walking some of the more isolated areas in the light of the weekend morning.  Taking a page from Lynda's blog, here is a bit of what the morning light showed me today:

     After the walk, I allow myself generally to drift through the day.  I usually save the laundry and household chores for Sunday since Sunday is already sullied by its proximity to Monday. For example, when I got back from the walk this morning, I sent an email to a friend and then had my oatmeal, blueberries, and almonds - LOVE that breakfast.  I looked at the paper and read a bit from this week's Newsweek which was still sitting on the kitchen counter untouched from it's arrival earlier in the week. I then played with the paints for a bit.  See what I am working on?

This is one from a few weeks ago:

Would you maybe like to see my work space?  

Mixed in with my afternoon nap, I will find time to read.  These are on my list for today:

And , of course, my fingers will find these two tools at some point later today as well:

Do you understand why I in love with Saturday?

It's the pace of the day.  It's the solitude and the silence.  It's the ability to breathe and so take in the world.  No demands.  Amen.

Can You Hear?

If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud. 

- Émile Zola

     First, do you know GOODREADS?  This website  is a very cool place where you can read about books.  You can discover what's new and you can read reviews about both new material and old standbys.  Individuals can share the books they've read and get recommendations for books that they might enjoy based on what they have read and enjoyed.  I have a profile there with a handful of books I have read but I have not taken the time to use the site well. There are so many things you can explore and do there.

       My favorite part of Goodreads is the quote library.  This LARGE collection of quotes is organized by tags and the topics are many.  Additionally, you can create your own list of favorites and that is my favorite part.  I spent a lot of time last summer just reading thorough the short words of others and setting some aside in a favorites folder.  Well, okay, 630 are saved in my favorites folder but that's still "some".  Besides being able to store words that matter to you, you can also subscribe to a daily quote delivered to your email inbox.  And that brings me to the words above.....

      This comment from Zola showed up my Goodreads email the other day. It's not the first time I have read it yet, just as in every other time I have seen it, it caused me to pause.  There is something very attractive about these words.  I know that the quote is translated from the original French and so may have been altered somewhat in that process but, even so, it gives me reason to reflect.

        Artist or no artist, I like the idea of living out loud.  I have just a whimper of what those three words might mean but they do motivate me.  "Living out loud" suggests that I will tell the secrets in my head.  I will tell the secrets in words and in paint and sometimes with a camera.  I can share the words, colors, textures, and images  but they don't have to be shared.  I can say them.  I can live out loud. I may or may not be understood but I can be heard.  And living out loud is not necessarily about living loudly.  One can live out loud with whispers.

      Living out loud takes courage.  When scared or discouraged, I would prefer to hide. I would rather disappear.  I imagine going away and being in silence.  Regrouping, renewing, recharging - call it whatever you want but that time is marked by silence.   And when the time is right, I emerge and live out loud again, taking chances on telling my secrets.
 Can you hear my secrets?
   

Six Word Memoirs

     Several years ago I discovered a project sponsored by  Smith Magazine and  dubbed "Six Word Memoirs".  The first collection is entitled "Not Quite What I Was Planning".  Get it?  Six words communicating the gist of the message.  There are so many short thoughts that convey so much.  Some are funny, some are philosophical, a few are inspiring, many are poignant.  I have too many favorites but here are a few:

"Still lost on the road less traveled."

"Followed rules. Not dreams. Never again."

"Used to add.  Now I subtract."






         Later the project came out with another book,  "It All Changed In An Instant." Again the magazine solicited six word memoirs that could tell the story of people's lives.  The collection offers a mix of both well known and obscure writers' words.   A few favorites include:

"The miserable childhood leads to royalties."  (Frank McCourt)

"Said I walked into wall.  Lied."

Married young.  Discovered dating soon afterwards."







      Today I spent a chunk of the day immersed in yet another
of the Six Word Memoir projects.  This is entitled "The Moment" and is fascinating and quick reading. These are short blips that tell so much,  Generally, the focus is a life changing moment.  The story telling is real.  The moment is clear and tenable.  The stories are told with humor, inspiration, poignancy, immediacy, and truth.   It reminds me of the  blogging community.