So why the melancholy? and why today? In about two hours, my entire and wonderful extended family will descend upon the house - about 40 people. This is our tradition and has been for at least 25 years. Our house is central to most of the family and it is (sort of) big enough to accommodate all. It is always an enjoyable day. I get a chance to catch up with those family members that I seldom see and there is a ton of laughter and good will. My big family is, perhaps, exceptional in that there is no animosity anywhere (or if there is, it is tightly concealed). We appear to like each other, including the spouses and children of the sibs. It's a good day.So why the melancholy? I know, I know, there are many among you who immediately say,"Well, duh, the holiday is over! Of course there is a let down!" And to those folks I say, "Don't you remember? Christmas is NOT my season. I allow it but I seldom embrace it. And, hello? I still have about ten days off! I should be jumping for joy!"
Why the dark place? Maybe I need to stop asking why and just let the dark place be. I know that, once the company starts to arrive, I will tuck any leftover blues business away and trot out the smiles and the welcomes and that will be that. This blues business though bugs me. He follows me all the time and throws a blanket over what could be a lovely life. Hah! That gives me an idea! I think I will paint the Blues Blanket. That should be interesting.
What color will it turn out to be?
Yes, all of those things you said - - the holiday is over, you still have 10 days off! Yet, sometimes those blues just kind of slink their way in and there's no apparent reason. Sometimes I just WANT to feel sad (but only for a minute). That sounds weird, but it's kind of true. Your family gathering sounds wonderful, though, and I envy you . . . we are all spread around and those gatherings are getting fewer and farther in between. I know you'll enjoy it . . . and do me a favor and hit your brother Mark on the arm for me :)
ReplyDeleteDamn! I got to see Mark but not for long - he brought me the prettiest earrings that he picked out for me! So sweet! Unfortunately, we had a medical emergency and I went to the emergency room at the local hospital. My brother in law needed medical attention but he is fine now. Thank goodness! But it meant that we didn't get to visit as much - and there were lots of people. I will just have to go see him at his home in the mountains!
DeleteI can relate. Melancholy. I feel it in the form of an unsettled longing. Having loved ones in my company, especially the grandchildren, provides relief during the time they are here.
ReplyDeleteFunny, someone recently lectured me that my sadness is something that I choose to feel.
As if…
We used to be the central location for holiday gatherings. But, after my Mom passed away, we don’t get together anymore.
I am happy for you. It’s nice that your 25 year old tradition continues.
Sadness is something you feel - I suppose some people can block it or ignore it but I know I am richer for the experience. I do think it is valuable to feel the feeling and maybe explore what is behind the feeling. But anyone who tells me I am "choosing to feel" sadness is shallow and misses out on important parts of life by suggesting that it is necessary to dismiss sadness. I am learning.
DeleteSadness does teach. Depression does, too. Although I think that sadness and depression are different, depression has taught me a lot, about myself and other people.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what you have learned? I sent an email to some account of yours - no worries if it didn't get there - just palaver!
DeleteI'm with Melanie, sadness and depression can be very educational and revealing. For myself, I can say that I think melancholy may be organic, almost chemical and less situational. For that reason, trying to make sense of it doesn't always make sense, if that makes sense. ;)
ReplyDelete