― George Bernard Shaw
Rules. There have always been rules. I'm thinking about changing some of them. What do you think?
#1. Listen to yourself above all others.
Tough one in my case. It is very noisy in my head. I can't distinguish all the voices; I often can't tell which one is mine and which voices belong to everyone else. It is crowded in my head. Besides voices, there is just plain noise in my head. Seriously. I hear roaring in my ears. I also hear music and bells and wind chimes. I'm not kidding. I used to listen to all the other voices. I let them tell me what to do. They were the experts. I didn't know anything. I don't know what I know now.
#2. Make noise when you want to make noise.
Another big change for me. Yes, it is noisy in my head but I have always been good about "holding my tongue". Now I want to say what I have to say. I don't have to just take whatever comes my way. I can say no. I can say stop. I can paint my noise. I can write my noise. I can cry what I what to say. And saying what I have to say does not mean I have to be unkind. I can be thoughtful in the way I say things. I can also be strong. I can make myself big. I don't have to be silent.
#3. Keep your eyes open except when you want to close them.
I do like to see my world. I want to look at where I am. I want to see the flowers, the smiles, the clouds, the waves and sand at the beach. I want to keep my eyes open to what's in my head too. I want to see those voices and to know those colors. I want to see where I am going. And sometimes I want to close my eyes. Now I know I can close my eyes. Sometimes when I close my eyes I can stop everything. I can be silent. Silent. Or not silent. I can be either.
To be continued.
I like #1. Sometimes we care too much about what others have to say, when we really need to trust ourselves more than we do.
ReplyDeleteThe hard part for me is determining what it is I want to do. I have a hard time silencing the other voices. I can't hear me.
DeleteEither creating yourself, or trying to find out what it is that you have created.
ReplyDeleteI want something new. Lots of things I've created are good. But I want change.
DeleteMark - go read the secret messages. Tell me something after you read them.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of changing the rules. I guess I've adhered to rules at times in my life, but not the past few years. Life's too short to get caught up in someone else's notions of what we should be, or how we should live. Listen to yourself above all others. That's the key.
ReplyDeleteCertainly you have rules for yourself though, yes?
Deletesure, i guess. My rules are to maintain my integrity, avoid hurting others, try and help out where I can...earn my own way by work, support others as well as I can. Are there other rules? Not sure
DeleteDefine "maintain my integrity". I think that's where I get into trouble.
DeleteI can very much relate to number one.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know for sure it's your own voice you hear?
DeleteI don't always. Mine is certainly not the loudest in there sometimes. It is, however, the most consistent. Even when it's only whispering.
DeleteConsistent - that's a good point. When I hear the whisper over and over again, I need to listen up. Thanks for pointing that one out.
DeleteI can identify with so much here. For me, with number 2, I have become more and more willing to speak up when I feel it's really important, but I still live in fear that once I start making noise, I will lose the ability to discern what's important enough to speak up about and what I should let go.
ReplyDeleteRules......very nicely put. I felt moved by your post. In fact, yesterday, while driving down Mendocino Ave on a very wet rainy Willits Day, I noticed a terrific amount of runoff rain water flowing with me down the street. i stopped at Spruce Street for the stop sign, but the water DID NOT STOP! I was amazed. I wondered, "does JT know about this; that the water runs it's own course and ignores the rules the city has generated? I was shocked.
ReplyDelete