― George Bernard Shaw
Rules. There have always been rules. I'm thinking about changing some of them. What do you think?
#1. Listen to yourself above all others.
Tough one in my case. It is very noisy in my head. I can't distinguish all the voices; I often can't tell which one is mine and which voices belong to everyone else. It is crowded in my head. Besides voices, there is just plain noise in my head. Seriously. I hear roaring in my ears. I also hear music and bells and wind chimes. I'm not kidding. I used to listen to all the other voices. I let them tell me what to do. They were the experts. I didn't know anything. I don't know what I know now.
#2. Make noise when you want to make noise.
Another big change for me. Yes, it is noisy in my head but I have always been good about "holding my tongue". Now I want to say what I have to say. I don't have to just take whatever comes my way. I can say no. I can say stop. I can paint my noise. I can write my noise. I can cry what I what to say. And saying what I have to say does not mean I have to be unkind. I can be thoughtful in the way I say things. I can also be strong. I can make myself big. I don't have to be silent.
#3. Keep your eyes open except when you want to close them.
I do like to see my world. I want to look at where I am. I want to see the flowers, the smiles, the clouds, the waves and sand at the beach. I want to keep my eyes open to what's in my head too. I want to see those voices and to know those colors. I want to see where I am going. And sometimes I want to close my eyes. Now I know I can close my eyes. Sometimes when I close my eyes I can stop everything. I can be silent. Silent. Or not silent. I can be either.
To be continued.