What I notice is that she is back and back in an unusual way. She must have developed a night life because these days she is not sitting on the couch next to me at night but rather is climbing out of bed with me in the morning. It used to be that she was an early morning sleepy head and I could get my day started without her obnoxious presence. But now? Now she is happy to push me out of bed and hang around, hovering over me as I attempt to get my day on track. She smothers me while I do my exercise routine, and scowls when I complete the walk or the crunches. She gleefully jumps when she sees that the house is a mess and I am chastising myself for not staying on top of the housework. She smiles big time when I sigh in discouragement at the long day ahead or the frigging fog hanging in the oak tree. She LOVES it when I trudge out to the garage, backpack on and shoulders stooped, pull out my bike and head off to work. This is her quintessentially joyful moment.
Odd thing is, she doesn't actually come to work with me. She tries. I know she tries. But I think is afraid of that place. Or something. Maybe there just isn't room for her there. There is so much activity, so many people to whom I need to answer, so much going on and she can't find me in the busy-ness of work. Ha! I disappear from her view! I wonder where she goes during the workday.
And after work? After work, she must be bugging someone else because she leaves me alone. When I get home from work, I can chillax without her. Yes, she is still makes me her biggest priority on Sundays after about noontime. Ugh. But I know her and I actually make room for her on the couch. How do you shove someone away who has been there on Sundays since you were in second grade?
I am going to watch her this fall. I am going to see if anything changes about her. She still wears that funky dress and really should be wearing a bra. Those old lady shoes need to go. I wonder if I can persuade her to try some cool boots? Maybe I just need to accept her just the way she is.
Some recent art work:
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| Blood, Skin, and Bones #1 |
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| Blood, Skin, and Bones #2 |
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| Water Play |
Don't make room for her on the couch so much. Tell her you love her but she's not welcome anymore - - at least until she gets a bra. And even then, only once in a while.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I hear you. She does have a mind of her own and is not willing to give me the time of day sometimes. I could easier get her to put on a bra then to leave when she doesn't want to leave.....
DeleteI agree with Judy, for what it's worth. It doesn't sound like you enjoy the time you spend together (oh, what a messed up thing to say about melancholy -- wait, you don't enjoy it? What? *eye roll at self*) so I hope you manage to limit it. Having "people" like that around you can be so draining. You don't need that.
ReplyDeleteExcept perhaps on Sundays. If you feel like she really belongs there, then...
~ Rhonda Parrish
Well, it's not that I think she necessarily belongs there - it's that SHE thinks she has the right to be there. She is not one to leave when she doesn't want to leave.....
DeleteYou "girls" have been together a long time haven't you? Seems a shame to split you up.
ReplyDeleteHMMMMM - interesting take. I wonder what would happen if I tried to hold her hand? Or if I gave her some cookies or asked her what movie she wants to watch?
DeleteNice post, sistah. I enjoyed hearing about your friend and your relationship with her. I really liked those paintings you included! The blood, skin and bones pieces are particularly powerful, i think. nice work, all the way around! love, me
ReplyDeleteThanks, bro! The paintings are vivid that's for sure. They were from a dream so that might tell you something!
DeleteMy own Ms. Melancholy (what a delicious way to describe her!) recently switched from night to morning. Morning used to be my most favorite time and now? Now I don't want it to come because I wake up beside her and she's not a particularly nice bedfellow.
ReplyDeleteYes! That's what I mean. I don't like seeing her in the morning. NOT fair! I used to like mornings. Now I am in a funk in the mornings - until I get to work. Then I pack the funk into my backpack and leave it with my bike helmet by the bike. That works.
DeleteYes, amazing paintings! truly amazing. It almost weirds me out how a title can have such an impact. "Blood, skin, and bones" is intense and hard and scary, though the paintings hold beauty also. And "water play" is so light, which makes the painting "lighter," though the colors are more bold.
ReplyDeleteMs. M. is also kinda a "sweet" name for an insidious character. I like the irony, both in the name and the dress. What do you call repression mixed with anxiety?
Thanks for sharing. I so appreciate how brave and bold you are--how you show (at least some) your insides and say "take that world!" Go ahead and look!
Thanks, Shari! Crazy mind, crazy dreams, crazy art.... it is fun to do though!
DeleteI love the art, too, so much.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it about Sunday evenings? I have had that brand of Ms. M. for many years now, and it seems to be about more than going to work on Monday.
I think I'll name my Ms. M. "The Elephant" since that's what she feels like when she sits on my chest.
Maybe we could send your Ms. M. and my The Elephant on an extended cruise around the world?
I love this concept, Gracie. I am a little too well acquainted with Ms. Melancholy myslef--and I'm particularly unfond of her in the mornings because she is so hard to shake off. (I know what you mean about work--she seems to hide in the corners a bit there rather than sitting so close, but I don't go in until 2:30 so it makes for a long morning of the moaning that often passes for chit-chat with Ms. M.)
ReplyDeleteI have to say, though, that I don't think any of us can or should get rid of her entirely. There is a certain richness and depth to her, isn't there? That helps us appreciate the simpler and lighter feeling we have when she's not around?