It is billed as a comedy / drama but I saw it as more of a drama with some funny lines. Steve Carell plays an objective therapist. There really is nothing funny about his role at all. He doesn't act goofy or weirdo. Some people who are not familiar and/or are frightened by therapy might think some of what he says is funny but really? it's not. He asks questions and makes an occasional observation. His character is simply a mellow, believable therapist who asks questions. Of course, the premise is skewed. A marriage of 31 years is not going to be fixed in three sessions with a marriage counselor. A lot of the movie plays on the notion of sex as the cure all for long term marriage. Sex can be made into a funny topic. It can also play out its identity as an uncomfortable topic that makes people laugh at what might be true. What is emphatically not funny is the loneliness that Meryl Streep's character feels and the palatable distance in that marriage. The character played by Tommy Lee Jones is not so far off the mark as far as being oblivious. Streep's character is an extreme but so is the character played by Tommy Lee Jones. But Tommy Lee's character is more believable to me. I think I know him. Streep's character is painfully sad. Her loneliness actually gets named. Her invisibility is so oddly clear.
Of course, everything wraps up unrealistically and predictably at the end. It is Hollywood after all. I don't think it's uplifting. It wasn't a huge bummer or anything, mostly just a disappointment or not what I was expecting. As with movies everywhere and all the time, it takes a very complex topic and brings it to its simplest form. There is tragedy in a long term marriage that has grown distant and I am upset that the movie makes this marriage a target of humor. How is the loneliness and emptiness funny? I suppose I also need to acknowledge that I may be too close to the topic...
Anyway, that's my movie review for the year. If you've seen it, tell me what you think.
We wanted to see it tonight up here, but it's on too late for us. We'll try again. I refuse to believe that anything with Merle and Tommy could be anything but entertaining. Of course, I have not been in a theater in several years, so I would probably enjoy watching a blank screen.
ReplyDeleteWait for the dvd - go see The Candidate - Meg says it was good!
DeleteTaking into consideration and appreciating the point of your post here, let me sidetrack a little bit. What is even sadder to me about these types of movies is that so many fine mature actors seem to have resorted to fluffy types of films.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking for example of De Niro, Hoffman, Fonda and Nicholson, to name a few.
I agree, Lynda - you would think they would be more selective about where they put their image and their talent.
DeleteI want to see it, but it's one of those flicks that I'll wait for it to come out on DVD. If you want to see a film that handles a long term marriage a little more realistically (and it stars Steve Carrell), rent the movie "Crazy Stupid Love" which also has a shirtless Ryan Gosling which is always a plus:)
ReplyDeleteI saw it last night, too, with a girlfriend. It had a lot of resonance, but made the TLJ character the one who needed to change. And (spoiler alert) he did, which wrapped it up nicely. But the troubles don't occur in a week, nor can they be resolved in a week, even an intense week in Maine. Unrealistic in that regard, and didn't put enough focus on the hard work and pain and forgiveness that's needed to have a lasting and real transformation.
ReplyDeleteSure didn't ! That's Hollywood for you - but that's also where people get their bizarre ideas of the real world.
DeleteI have seen a few ads for this movie, but haven't had much desire to see it. Your review has confirmed my suspicions about it. I just don't find loneliness and isolation within a marriage funny. I resent the notion that people get distanced from each other because their sex life isn't wild enough. I'm glad I read your review, but I'm sorry that you were disappointed with your movie-going experience.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment TL - and at least RR and I talked about the movie and that's good!
DeleteI thought it was painfully believable, but not really a comedy. I think I would have rewritten the script to extend it a bit and ditch the happy ending. At first the characters seemed a bit exaggerated but as the story progressed, it seemed more real. Needed another title too.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely needed another title - the title put me off even before seeing the movie- I would have preferred a far less smooshy ending - I would have preferred more connection on the little things - perhaps flash forward three years and show a new and improved breakfast scene?
DeleteI think this sort of mislabeling happens a lot as a way of trying to draw people in. There is a perception (probably a pretty valid one, I would imagine) that there is more interest in comedies and therefore better chance at the box office if you try to make it look funnier than it is. I've been drawn in by that on more than one occasion.
ReplyDeleteAs for being too close to the topic, I assiduously avoid most relationship movies for that very reason. As someone who has been in a complicated, complex longterm relationship, I am nearly always borderline outraged by the simplification and reduction of those relationships onscreen.
Amen, MM! I like that - complicated, complex - if only I could make it simple and light - and not be so whatever - see that response i just wrote to Shari below!
DeleteThanks for checking in on all those posts!
Devil's advocate: Just went and saw it this afternoon, and I agree it is not a romantic comedy (except in the Shakespearian sense of word, thus the ridiculously happy ending that ends in marriage, in this case re-marriage) It is sad with some funny lines. Realistically, it probably should have ended after they returned home, or maybe after the "good" sex--relationships can suddenly have a good spell; the problem is that the problem(s) usually returns and we are left with as it was before. The re-marriage scene was just cheesy and oh, so, Hollywood, i.e. fake. But I liked this film. It was well acted and adult and showed the emptiness and loneliness in both of them. It was so obvious in the wife from the first moments and so easy to blame him. I especially liked the scene where we see his loneliness--where he shares that he gave up and learned to stop feeling as a protection and saw himself as doing the right thing--he didn't have an affair or get a prostitute. And yeah, the therapy scenes were realistic--therapy is DIFFICULT and if you don't feel like leaving the session or not wanting to go then you probably are not doing the difficult work.
ReplyDeleteYeah, there certainly could have been a lot more depth. But it was a start. (And, really, don't we all want to believe that re-connection is possible? We're just cynical because it so rarely happens.)
Consider how many happy endings there are in your life (even each day) if you could just stop the movie in the right place.
Love it! Stop the movie in just the right place! Problem is, we can't know where the right place is until it is gone!
DeleteMarriage is complicated. Hell, life is complicated - or at least it is complicated if you think about it. And marriage is complicated if you want it to be more than just convenient.
and therapy is difficutl and painful and sometimes you wonder where it is going and why it needs to be so hard and is it really helping? and you say to yourself, "Self, quit being so _____________ (dramatic, needy, whiney , bitchy, serious, cynical, whatever).
Thanks for commenting, Shari!