I am breaking, breaking into a million shards. There are tiny fragments and there are big boulders. The tiny pieces are sparkly and precious stones. The boulders are hot lava remnants. They are all the responsibilities that I have carried. The shiny precious shards are the tiny pieces of love, the connections , the web of hearts that I have known. The shiny pieces are my art work and my writing and the fragility that marks my life. They are also sharp - like needles. They cut me , they inject me, they hurt me. I need protection from the shards.
The boulders are heavy and black and grey and maroon. They hurt my feet because I climb all over them. They crowd my life. They hurt my shoulders because they are incredibly heavy. I carry them everywhere and I can't tolerate them anymore. They are not pretty. They bring their own pain
I want to reassemble the pieces but I don't' think it is possible. I am too broken, too shattered, too far away to ever do this. I'm not sure that I can ever be reassembled. Nor am I sure I want to be reassembled
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And there is an a sheen of red on the ground, thick, shiny red. It is going to dry to an M and M thick candy shell and the cover is shell to crack again. The shards will be obvious. The web will be there.
As difficult as it is to do, try and label the boulders for being what they are. Attach specific responsibilities to specific boulders. Are the maroon boulders your blood responsibilities? Are the dark ones your anxiety issues about the future? As long as they remain vague and unknown, the are impossible to deal with; only by specifically naming them, and being able to assess them, can you address them. Maybe the boulders can be punctured by the needle-sharp shards of glass. I urge you to take action immediately, if for no other reasons, then think one shard of glass may be a grandchild.
ReplyDeleteMaybe , Mark, but I think the boulders are going to crush the shards - the shards are fragile, the boulders huge and heavy.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, but historically speaking, small things have a way of rising up to show the Universe that they have substance and direction. We won't even talk about David and Goliath, or the Greeks and the Trojans; how about in our own backyard, where the 2010 San Francisco Giants stood up to the baseball Establishment, and pulverized the opposition? A band of self-described misfits and cast-offs? Not likely...Shards of glass or needle-sharp projections can work their way through interesting components, like people's feet. Remember that needle/ How did it make its journey? Who knows? No one knows how these things work. How about we's find out? Are you ready to take that path with me?
ReplyDeleteHi you!
ReplyDeleteThe boulders are your reminder to make change... this is your friend. the shards of glass are your fears. When you can see the bigger picture, what matters to you really, then your boulders will dissolve, and the shards will be the twinkle in your eyes, the lightness of your step.
Hand in there - Are we on to walk on Wednesday?