Wanting is Unclear

I can rarely put my finger on what I want. Or I think I know what I want but the path is too long or too complicated. But it is also simple.   What I want is balance. Simple, yes? But no, not really. There is too much that I want to do and some desires contradict other desires.  I want to be physically active, I want to be still. I want to embrace friendships and laugher and be open to people.  I want to be alone and embrace solitude. I want to eat well -- healthy, simple choices.  No contradictions there.  I want to paint and to photograph and to do something with that artwork. Again, no contradictions there.  I want to thrive in my work and enjoy the many aspects of it without being overwhelmed by it.  I want to travel to new places, have adventures, take in the world and be a part of it all.  I want to cocoon at home and make my world small and tight.
I want too much.