Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Thank You For Accidents

Accidents - yeah - happen.  Frankly, stuff happens, yes?
It never ceases to amaze me how accidents or just plain stuff can actually become incredible gifts.  In the first days/weeks/maybe even months following an accident or some "stuff", it seems like this is going to be a terrible thing.  That bike accident in August - HUGE pain, bad timing (first week of school), greatly limited mobility, did I mention big pain? For two or three weeks I was angry at myself and at the universe for putting this in my path.  No good could come out of this.  Whoa!  Was I ever wrong about that!  For one thing, people enveloped me in love and concern.  I didn't realize how much I mattered.  What a gift that was!  On the same wavelength, I rediscovered what an incredible man Michael is.  Although we have been married for over 26 years (or maybe because we have been married so long) , he became the quintessential caregiver, anticipating every need or desire I might have.  He took everything off his calendar so he could be available to help me, to drive me to numerous appointments, to pick up prescriptions, to deal with insurance matters, to hold my hand and tell me that he loved me no matter what. Again, what  a gift that was!
Oddly enough, not being able to get up and exercise daily has been a gift!  I have learned how much I value exercise but I have also discovered a willingness to explore other options.  For 35 years I have gotten up early (often as early as 4:30) in order to compulsively exercise.  Now I am excited about some other avenues, some other options.  I want to be able to spend more morning time with Michael and I want to include him in my exercise time.  I used to be so damn independent, inflexible, and rigorous in that routine.  I want that to change.
In the big picture, I believe I have changed for the positive as a consequence of this accident.  I take things less seriously, I say I love you more, I indulge myself more in resting and sleep, I want to reach out more to people, I have learned concrete ways of helping someone who has experienced an accident or bout of poor health.
And, so, to the universe, I say thank you for accidents!

1 comment:

  1. I do believe that I have had a similar experience...
    Unrelated in the utmost, and yet...exactly the same....
    Thank the world for terrible-ness...