Monday, July 15, 2013

The Thing You Think You Cannot Do

     
     Gordon Livingston is a psychiatrist and writer who lives in Maryland.  I stumbled across this book of his recently and was intrigued enough by the title to read more.  I would not call this a self help book but rather a collection of essays that might give a thoughtful reader something to ponder.  Among the Amazon reviews,  there are some commenters who slam the author for being political.  I think that is part of the author's point. He takes some of the psychology behind personal fear and applies it to the national scene.  He talks about fear and vulnerability and the impact those have on individuals but he also occasionally segues into how fear can dominate a culture and its leaders.

     I am well acquainted with his political perspective but that wasn't what got my attention.  What got my attention was simply that he is an older guy who appears to have lived a rich life.  He has met tragedy face to face in his life.  His 22 year old son Andrew killed himself while under the grip of a bipolar illness.  Seven months later, his six year old son Lucas was diagnosed with acute form of leukemia.  Lucas died six months later.  Reading a bit about his professional approach to psychiatry and some of his experiences as a psychiatrist made me think I might have something to learn from him.  I'm not sure I learned anything new from his book but it did make me ask a few questions and it reminded me of some answers that I already had within me.

     Dr. Livingston gives a nod to the pharmaceutical industry, acknowledging that there are some medications that can be effective for some forms of mental illness  What I like, however, is that he also very strongly supports the therapeutic model.  He makes a lot of room for courage and resilience to take their places in our lives.  Anxiety is high on the list for those seeking psychotherapy.  There are so many fears:  fear of dying, fear of change, fear of intimacy, fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of time, fear of loneliness, fear of the unknown, and on and on.  There may be a biological component to anxiety but that doesn't mean the antidote needs to be pharmacological.  I, frankly, don't understand the psychotherapy process but that doesn't matter.  What matters is that he apparently does and his work with patients involves developing relationships that foster such virtues as courage and resiliency.

    The author talks about depressed people as people who are fresh out of future dreams.  His job, as a psychiatrist, is "to sell hope in individual doses".  He listens to people, he questions their fundamental beliefs about themselves, and he works to help them identify and change those parts of themselves that are holding them back from a more satisfying life.  It's not a fast track process.  Some people come to him seeking advice (and maybe prescriptions for medications) because he is seen as "the expert".  He considers it among his harder tasks to convince his patients that the answers must come from within.  It is his job to ask the questions that will help the seeker find their own answers.  The obstacles come when patients aren't willing to be patient, when they aren't willing to give the process time to come to fruition.  Many people are also resistant to this approach because it requires them to take responsibility for themselves.  They just want him to fix them.  What he has to offer them is hope.  And the thing they need in order to accept his offer is courage.  I think it must be a complicated dance.  And a scary one.

12 comments:

  1. Whether or not we fully believe in someone else's views and beliefs, we can always learn something positive from them. It's obvious that this author has been through a lot and has knowledge and experience from which we can learn.

    I have had acute anxiety my entire life but have learned to control it and not let it consume me (as it once did). I'm an anti-medication advocate, unless it's absolutely necessary.

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    1. I agree, Jon. There is much to learn in the world if you are willing to listen and consider the views and beliefs of others. Listening and considering does not mean you have to buy them but it does give you a chance to weigh their value.

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  2. Does the good Doctor have any appointments available? And might he move to So Calif any time soon?

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    1. I think you should Google him and offer to let him stay at your house for vacation! Or ask him if he has any associates in your neighborhood! xo

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  3. I don't have time for a long comment, but, having a degree in psychology, I will say this:

    We live in a drug culture of quick fixes. Despite ample evidence to show that the only real way of dealing with many mental illnesses is one-on-one, personal work, we don't want to spend the time on that kind of stuff. And it's hard. Give us quick and easy, even if it doesn't really work.

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    1. Amen to that, Andrew. We are surrounded by quick fixes - but do they really fix anything? One-on-one personal work can be powerful. It sucks that such resources are not available to all people in need of them.
      I am offended by insurance companies who are willing to fund medications but not willing to pay for psychotherapy. Meds are cheaper than one-on-one work.

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  4. Interesting. Lately I've been noticing how the fear culture is taking over. I might just have to see what he has to say about that.

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    1. Yes, I am afraid the fear culture is alive and well in the US of A - Livingston has interesting stuff to say about that and how it ties to personal fear.

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  5. You do good book reviews well. Thank God Twinkies are back. Now everything will be OK.

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  6. Yay, Twinkies! If only the Cracker Jack prizes were real! :)

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  7. "Fear of loss..." hmmmmm. Have to ponder that one.

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  8. Not only did I add this to my "list," I opened a new browser window and put it on hold at the library. I have thought (and said) often that fear seems to have been the defining emotion of my life up to this point. I am also curious about Livingston's insights about fear in more public arenas.

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