It made me think about how that happened. I was raised in a devout Roman Catholic household. Along with my siblings, I attended Catholic schools. The family's social world revolved entirely around the parish and the extended (Catholic) family. Daily Mass was part of the school in the lower grades and Sunday Mass was a command performance. There were prayers before and after every meal, while traveling in the car, and after dinner during the months of May and October. All rituals surrounding Lent and Advent were adhered to. I memorized so many prayers and so many answers to life's toughest questions. I even won the local Catechism Bee in 8th grade. As a child, I think it was actually a protective and secure bubble.
The significant cultural changes of the late 60's/early 70's blasted the whole Catholic Church thing out of the water for me. I came to resent the power and control that I saw as the Church. So much power and control over sexuality angered me. Birth control? Really? That's a problem why? Oh, because the one and only purpose for sex is procreation. Hmmm, how about allowing people to enjoy sex would make the Church lose power? And women as priests? And what was/is the problem with that? That's not the gender that was taken into Jesus's circle of disciples? How about that was the culture at the time Jesus walked the Earth? So much else in the culture changed and we survived. Why not allowing women to have some authority? Oh, right, control and power. There are lots of examples I could cite but, overall, I felt (and still feel) as if the Church was all about controlling the behaviors of people rather than encouraging people to think through their choices for themselves. That's when I started checking the "None" box.
Don't get me wrong. I do know some very good people who are faithful members of the Catholic Church. And the focus on social justice issues has always been one of the saving graces of some of the Church leadership. It just doesn't fit for me. Or, perhaps I should say, I don't fit in it.
Along the way, people have occasionally suggested that I try this church or that church - something not Catholic. And I guess I wonder why I would do that. What is it that people who belong to a church get from that experience? Why would a person belong to a church? Many people want community and a church community gives you, presumably, a group of like minded people with whom to socialize. Those of you who know me, know that I am not too big on socializing. I suppose a church also gives its members tools to get through life. Church members know the rules and they know the consequences. Embracing a church means you are privy to answers to some very tough questions - questions that I find impossible to answer with certainty. It also means you really don't have to think too much about the questions because the answers have been provided. You can live your life with confidence, based on your beliefs. I suppose I am choosing to continue to wonder rather than believe.
Checking "None" does not mean that I am an atheist. No, I wouldn't say that at all. It means I am curious and interested. It means I am willing to read and learn about all religions. It means that I am happy for people to peacefully practice their chosen religion for themselves. I don't want to be controlled by the religions of others. I don't want religions to tell me what to do but it's okay if anyone else wants a religion to help guide their way while on Earth. But please don't allow your religion to dictate my life. Again, I believe I am a spiritual person. As the author of this article puts it. "Most "Nones" have a reverence for a power greater than ourselves and crave a deeper understanding of its significance." Yup, that's me.
How about you? Do you belong to a church? Care to tell why or why not?
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*** I dont' remember the correct way to footnote but the article was written by Corinna Nicolaou and originally appeared in the Los Angeles Times. I spotted it in the Jan 4, 2013 issue of the Santa Rosa Press Democrat.
Sign me up as a "none." Everything you wrote makes sense to me. I have not attended church since I was old enough to drive my car past the church to snag a bulletin [to prove I'd been] and then off to the car-wash. I think it was Father Luke in my sophomore year, bellowing at our class [of all boys] "Masturbation is a mortal sin, and you will rot in hell forever..." that pulled my rug out from under me. Really? Rot in hell? I thought not...and still think not.
ReplyDeleteYes, I remember going to St Christopher's with you on a Sunday morning , running in and getting the bulletin and then going over to Bob's Big Boy for breakfast! Did Father Luke really believe that stuff? How could an intelligent , thinking person believe that?
DeleteLOL, Mark, I remember hearing similar rants like that during my days at Bishop Amat too. I even recall one of the priests suggesting that old myth that masturbation would lead to blindness. I couldn't believe it were true, but decided to be on the safe side I would only do it until I needed glasses!
DeleteI think you know that I belong to a church and I wouldn't have it any other way. I do consider myself (and hope that I am) spiritual more than "religious." But going to my church on Sunday's kinds of recharges my spiritual battery and gives me strength to get through the week. I think if you profess to have certain beliefs and fail toto live those beliefs is pure hypocrisy. and I certainly don't believe you can't be spiritual if you don't belong to a church. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI get that, Judy, and I had forgotten that reason for belonging to a church. Several people in the past have mentioned the "recharge, renewal" effect of going to church -- that it brings them comfort and hope. That is a good thing!
DeleteI have written about this subject myself a few times. I was raised Catholic but I have been a “none" for over 40 years now. There are many reasons that I don’t fit into an organized religion. For example why should another human being have the “power” to judge me, as in a confessional box.
ReplyDeleteI occasionally think that I might like to find the same comfort in communal ritualistic practices as a great many other people do. But perhaps, like you, I am too curious about the mysteries of life to blindly take the word of others who, as far as I know, have no more answers than I do.
Those ritualistic practices do have some appeal but they also feel like "magic" - I like the poetry of the liturgy but I can' t understand some of what is behind it. I know it is not necessary to understand everything but, but put that with the resentment re: control and you have a check mark on "None".
DeleteI usually say I'm an "eclectic," meaning I pick and choose from all the great traditions to augment my own experiences and natural inclinations. As an adolescent I rebelled against our Catholic upbringing and for those teenage years wound up tossing out the baby with the bathwater. It was only after I met Leiko, in my early 20s, that I started to re-examine the whole subject. And with the benefit of her Eastern experience I was introduced to Zen which really emphasizes a whole house-cleaning of beliefs. I was fortunate this happened at a relatively early age, before the beliefs became too entrenched. I felt like I started all over from scratch, though it remains an ongoing process to clear out the clutter. I've never been interested in the group experience, as I feel the impulse toward Unity is a deeply personal and inwardly turning experience, and I tend to be distracted and ill at ease when others are involved.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the group experience - you nailed it there. I am not so comfortable with that group thing either. It is not a good match for me. I can't put my finger on why that is but the experience of the mystical is hampered by group participation.
DeleteI already wrote about this at ridiculous length over at Tara's--a conversation that you were part of, so I will spare you another ridiculously lengthy comment. I will say that the fellowship of like-minded people is one thing I do acutely feel the absence of in my life. As I am not religious, church would obviously not be the place to find those "like-minded" people, of course. Happily, I've had some luck out here in the wilds of the internet. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I found you out there in the wilds! I always look forward to anything you post.
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