But, and here is the revelation embedded in the twinge of envy, I am interested in the future. And, let's be specific here. I am interested in my future. That is a new direction for me. It's been a long time since I was interested in the future - possibly as long as 10 or 12 years. There didn't seem to be much worth being interested about. My work is important and valuable to me but I don't get excited about it like I might have thirty years ago. My two children are my number one interest but they are out there making their own choices, building their own lives. I can watch them but I can't be them. Ditto for all my wonderful nieces and nephews. Not so exciting. But interesting.
Perhaps a stronger word to use in place of interesting would be curious. Yes. That works. I am curious about my future. I wonder how the trip will unfold. I don't see any big deals on the horizon. No job change, no marital status change, no relocation to some place where it is balmy and warm (no relocation period). Nope. Ah, but note the use of the words "I don't see any big deals....". Funny thing about life. You don't always see the big deals coming. You often don't even know when a big deal change is in process until the wheels have really started spinning. Curious. That works.
The future for me? One step at a time. Curious only in a macabre "What's next?" sort of way. I am glad to hear that curious is in your vocabulary, with August dangling out there somewhere, and a return to the grindstone. THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
ReplyDeleteLet's not think about August until August, okay?
DeleteCurious is good. Midlife doesn't have a large amount of positive prospects in store, or at least it seems that way sometimes. Like Mark, I do better in day-tight compartments, but I also need something, no matter how small, to look forward to.
ReplyDeleteIn a car with other people, whether I'm driving or not, I'm always the one looking around and saying "Did you see that?" I can't understand people who don't turn their heads to see what's out there.:-)
And you must know by now, Melanie, that I am always observing, always watching, checking out colors, patterns, textures, images - I don't hear things but I sure do see them! Thanks for your comments.
DeleteSame here . ia m quite curious about how the future's gonna unfold . Nice post :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! I like your writing style too!
ReplyDeleteJT, it is good you are open to what the days, weeks and months ahead may bring. I will remind you, as though you did not already know, you do create your own future. Naturally, there are karmic events that are set in stone that will come to pass, but the attitudes that we will form to deal with those events are entirely in our own possession. I wonder if you would feel differently about the future if you knew you only had, say, 50 days to live? I wonder how this knowledge might make you view your world differently, or not?? Life is a journey; we live in a rented house that we must give back some day and move on.......and where is that we are going when we move on?
ReplyDeleteLoved this post JT. I too am a big fan of curiosity, for all the reasons you stated and more. Here's a post from a while ago about why it's the best thing for bloggers:
ReplyDeletehttp://creativecontentcoaching.com/curiosity/