Saturday, February 11, 2012

A Visit from Spring

      It was yet another challenging week at work.  I did my best to ride it out and yet this morning I felt sad and frustrated.  In a funk, for sure .  Some of the funk is about the increasing number of kids who are getting such a difficult start in life.  This week alone,  I dealt with one girl who had used a needle to carve frightening words into her upper thigh - deep, etched carving that will forever remind this girl that she is a "worthless piece of shit" and that she "deserves to die."

      Another girl came to me with her story of literally being caught in the middle between her parents who have not yet been able to resolve issues from a divorce that occurred eight plus years ago.  This girl swallowed a bottle of pills about two weeks and was hospitalized overnight.

       Ugh.  I don't want to regale you with the other stories of the week.  I guess I am searching for my own answers to why such young kids have to be in such pain and how I can change the patterns.  I was told by a high school student this week that the only way to do anything is one conversation at a time.  So slow.  And I don't have time for those conversations..... IEP's, yard duty, club moderation, parent emails, public relations work, board reports, scheduling, staff meetings, impromptu subbing for teachers who get sick in the day, serving as the after school crossing guard, building SARB cases -- so much more - not complaining - just saying, I need to work double time in order to be most effective.
       So why then do I have these hopeful photos of budding flowers? Because today winter parted her curtain and spring peeked through the crack!  It is NOT the real deal but a sneak preview.  I am amazed that spring has a feeling but she does.  When I took a walk downtown this afternoon with Sonny Boy, we were in jeans and jackets but the air felt as if spring were checking out our town, wondering if people remembered who she was.  She was a bit skippy and bounced around in and out of clouds.  But she spilled enough sunshine to make the trees and vines think that she was serious about kicking it with us for awhile.  I knew her secret but I decided not to tell anyone.  I could smile at her and play our game.

     The sadness with which I began my day melted into the air.  I gradually let go of my discouragement.  Perhaps that is what hope is about - setting aside frustrations and fears, and maybe the recognition that you are doing the best you can and tomorrow is another day.  Who knows?


  1. I love that "the sadness with which I began my day, melted away…" And isn't that the way it works? Nice to know that a walk was the perfect thing in this instance. We'll file that away for further examination. Have a sweet Sunday.

    1. Yes, a walk in the neighborhood is powerful therapy for me - especially with a camera in my pocket. I am most in the moment when I walk like that.

  2. We have had a mild December and January. It is starting to look like we are going to have an early spring. Forget February 2, and the ground hog. Two weeks before Punxutawney Phil popped his head out, I had several Robin Red Breast sitings. I go with the birds. I have also noticed buds on the trees.
    Even this morning's 19 degrees is not going to stop me from believing in the birds.
    To be able to go from from yard duty to dealing with such a troubled girl has got to take a great deal of resilience. That's why you are able to see through the winter and spot the buds.
    Thanks for glimpse of spring. I needed that.

  3. Yes, you have had such a hard winter, Lynda. Your wonderful photos and text are often exactly what I needed. SO glad I could return the favor.

  4. I loved this--and can identify with so much of it. There is something cleansing about that first whiff of spring.