Monday, September 13, 2010

September Revelations

      Any revelations as yet another year spins off my life?  For one thing, I have a grasp now on the fundamental role of change in life.  It is the only thing that doesn't change and it is best to embrace it since change is non negotiable.  That certainly doesn't mean change is welcome, though generally life seems to work its way through a maze of change to find some meaning. I have discovered that anything can be tolerated because, given enough time, it will change.
      I want to say I have learned that life is short and then you die but I don't think I have fully learned that.  It comes and it goes.  The lesson depends on the day.  Clearly, though, I have a beginner's understanding  of the concept and the older I get, the more I understand.
     I might be learning some amount of self acceptance. I saw a photo of myself taken last summer and I was instantly disgusted with the image that I saw.  Not pretty.  At first I was angry and annoyed with myself.  How could things have gotten so bad?  And then I remembered.  I am now 57 years old. Good grief!  I am not 23 years old.  The body, like everything else,  does change and you can't stop that process.  I want to remain healthy and, to that end, I will make wise eating choices and I will exercise daily.  I can't stop my skin from getting loser or tighter or whatever causes the lines and wrinkles.  I can't stop gravity from working on the musculature or the skin and making puffies or softness where once there was tautness and smoothness.  It is what it is.  So accept and even embrace the changes.  Softness can be nice.
    I am learning to laugh more.  Love it!  I am learning that life does not have to be so serious.  I practice amused detachment at those times when the world seems to be over the top crazy or unreasonable or unmanageable.  Observe what is happening, take the moment as it is, and laugh  (in my head, if necessary). Painting makes me laugh!  Such craziness I can create with a paint brush and lots of bold colors.  I love showing the paintings to people and observing their reactions!  My little joke on the rest of the world!
     So another birthday tucked away.  I am happy to put the year to rest.  Who knows what truths are to be revealed in the new year but I am sure lessons will be proffered and I plan to take advantage of them.


  1. JT, it sounds like you had a very happy birthday, at least in your mind.......I love your discussion about change. Since this whole physical plane is nothing but an illusion, why wouldn't there be daily shifts? By noticing and accepting change we prepare for all the change yet to come. As for the paintings, they are beautiful! I love to boldness of the color and the seem to capture a flavor in life that makes being on this planet fun and exciting. When are you going to have your first art show??!

  2. Thanks, Noel! I am still learning so much! I have the museum of wild woman art in my house! A show would be fun but, truth is, I like my art but I can't imagine others being so taken with it!