Saturday, August 28, 2010

Morning musings

     Early bike ride - no fog but the late summer chill was in the air.  I was surprised at how cold my legs were (should have worn sweats, silly woman) but I figured if I rode harder, they would warm up (and eventually they did).  I was also surprised to see grapes.  I am well aware of the vines and the beautiful vine colors but, damn! there are really grapes that hang off the bottom of those vines.  I must have always driven by in a car and been blinded by the leaf colors - so much so that I never saw the grapes!  But there they were this morning.  All gathered in clumps at the base of the leaves.  
     There must be a lesson in that.  Blinded by the show and not noticing the substance, not seeing the product.  Somehow I want to tie that in with the treadmill that has ramped up now that school has started.  My days at work are full and I go go go, failing to breathe, catching every task that is tossed anywhere near me. And then I get home and all I want is solitude and silence.  ZOOOOOOOM - there goes life - she is moving fast!  If you are going to catch up with her, you have to move fast!   I am running out of time with life and is this what I want to be doing?  Going so fast and packing so much into days?  So much so  that I can't breathe?  I imagine that endless summer would be delicious but I think I am also afraid that it would get rotten.  Endless summer is good for the summer but how would it feel in November or February or May?  Is the pleasure of summer in part due to its brevity?  I imagine days when I could get up between 6 and 7 and take the dogs on a walk and futz in the yard and ride my bike and keep my own house clean and make real dinners and read my books and take photographs and paint and write and enjoy walks at the beach with Michael and go up to see Pauline and hang out with Alex in the city or Meg in town or go down to Kev's -- or or or or or.  Sounds just fine to me.
     I told my friend Megan about the zooming sound I hear and about how it is life and how she moves fast.  I said I needed to move fast in order to catch up with her (life).  Megan's answer?  "Or sit still and let her light on your shoulder".  Odd thing is, even though my bike is zooming along, I think I am more still than fast when I am on these morning rides.  Maybe that is one reason they are so appealing.

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