Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I Can Hear

Silence.
Silence is safety
If you don't say anything, no one can get you on anything.
They can think all they want, but they got nothing.
You can hide.  You can be as invisible as you need to be.

I have been silent in this warm world of bloggers.
It is nothing about any of my strong and supportive blogger friends.
It is me, digging deep and coming up short.
It is me, lost and preferring to stay lost.
When you are lost, you are in survival mode
and I am lost.
I am in survival mode.

It's not about work, although work can suffocate me.
I don't know what it is about but I am hoping summer will reveal secrets.
I crave safety right now.
Not the physical safety.  That has never been my issue.
I crave what? emotional safety?
What the hell is that?
And how do you find it?

Sounds so trite.
Sounds so weak.
Nope.  Not me.

I just want you all to know that I am still here.  I am practicing silence and listening to the fish
so that I can hear.
I want to hear what it means to be the salt of the earth.
I want to hear what is ordinary.
I want to hear about predictability and safeness and
what does it sound like to take risks.
Does courage have a voice?
If yes, I want to hear that voice.

I want to hear what it feels like to be alive.



8 comments:

  1. Listen to the sound of the children; they know what it means to be alive.

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  2. Beautifully written.

    Keep listening. You'll find your answer. :)

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  3. Sometimes you absolutely need soothing silence to calm the fears of self doubt and uncertainty. Perhaps the answers are just outside the door, where you will find them on a bike ride to summer.

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  4. Tag! You're it!
    http://judy-minutebyminutedaybyday.blogspot.com/

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  5. Nice to hear from you, Ms. Gracie. I'm glad you're listening--that's the first step towards hearing. I'm certain you'll find what you're listening for--you are a brave and determined individual.

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  6. You can come over to my house and listen. You'll hear noisy kids, music (classical, and whatever is on the radio), and chattering creatures - sounds of life!

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  7. You have wise family members, JT- they both stole part of what I was going to say. I understand the need for silence, and hope you are able to hear what you are listening for.

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