tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post7388866373186433012..comments2024-03-08T20:52:44.759-08:00Comments on In Search of a Title: Brothers and SistersGraciewildehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-31080347152040675342012-12-21T21:05:23.534-08:002012-12-21T21:05:23.534-08:00I gave the book back to my sister or I would send ...I gave the book back to my sister or I would send you my copy! The book does take a researcher's look at lots of sibling issues - can't wait to read your essay!Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-19586232786432312642012-12-19T20:29:31.785-08:002012-12-19T20:29:31.785-08:00I've added this book to my list. You're pr...I've added this book to my list. You're privy to at least one of my sibling issues. I've actually been working on an essay about that relationship/issue and really been thinking about how our "assigned" (whether intentionally or not--and I mostly think not) roles within the family as the "smart one" and the "pretty one" may have contributed to the dynamic that allowed the things to happen the way they did. I was planning on picking up something on the sibling topic for research purposes anyway. Like you said, there are probably not a lot of surprises here, but sometimes a new way of putting an old thought can feel like a revelation. Lord knows I could use all the revelations I can get--both in the essay and in real life. :)Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-73550459080082253472012-11-22T08:06:55.968-08:002012-11-22T08:06:55.968-08:00I am the oldest of three girls, and we fought like...I am the oldest of three girls, and we fought like wild cats when we were young. I never would have thought we'd become adults and best friends, but we have. When I imagine being an old lady, my sisters are old ladies next to me. What I've learned in life is things change but my sisters stay with me always. Thank God. Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05754778263332756663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-6974090977465221392012-11-21T13:57:18.875-08:002012-11-21T13:57:18.875-08:00Wow! Such a contrast to what happened at our hous...Wow! Such a contrast to what happened at our house. There were few overt comparisons but we still saw stuff that might have pointed at favorites. Favorites can exist in a family but the trick is that it can't be obvious to anyone. Neither of my parents would have announced a favorite but there were indications. The thing is that the favorite was not a permanent position and I don't think any of us was terribly hurt by that - it just wasn't a driving force at all. I still joke with my sibs about my mother's current list. I always believe I am at the bottom -- for lots of reasons -- but I don't really think the bottom of the list is all that far away from the top of the list. It is a very compressed list! So it's all good.<br />You are too funny with the ending comments!Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-61740728806930088562012-11-21T13:49:12.418-08:002012-11-21T13:49:12.418-08:00I've been ruminating a lot over the whole expe...I've been ruminating a lot over the whole expectations thing. I would love to see what you have to say.Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-38702848584239079542012-11-21T12:24:45.048-08:002012-11-21T12:24:45.048-08:00Wow, I might certainly have a lot to say about thi...Wow, I might certainly have a lot to say about this subject. I do believe that occurrences of sibling rivalry is somewhat normal. But in the case of my sisters and brothers, I think it was actually fostered and promoted by my mother. Perhaps it was her way of dealing with 6 kids, you know divide and conquer. <br />She practiced all of the no-no's. Comparing one to the other. Naming who was the prettiest, smartest, nicest and who wasn't. <br />Then in our adult years, depending on who did what for her lately, she would claim a favorite and also decide who was on her s..t list. <br />We would joke with each other. "So where are you on the list this week?"<br />I learned a lot from her and made a conscious effort to <i>not </i> behave the same<br />way with my children. <br />I do feel that is why the six of us are not as close as I would like us to be. But on the other hand we are not estranged either and do have cordial relationships. <br />Although my turkey would probably come out much better than her's, we are going to my sis's for Thanksgiving :) <br />JUST KIDDING. Her turkey is going to be delish...just not as moist as mine would have been. :)lyndagracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13530605081989558341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-36997317117420928702012-11-21T04:43:56.493-08:002012-11-21T04:43:56.493-08:00Thanks-- without my blog friends I'd be sunk! ...Thanks-- without my blog friends I'd be sunk! And it was sweet to hear that in some families, the siblings ARE each others' stalwarts. That's how I always pictured it for our family, and it has been a big adjustment to try not to expect, well, anything. I have had to learn to look elsewhere for support. Hmm. Blog post brewing in there!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01468655681800817415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-47682449056098747452012-11-20T19:38:42.596-08:002012-11-20T19:38:42.596-08:00Without a doubt I do! One of my older brothers (n...Without a doubt I do! One of my older brothers (not Mark, a different brother - Noel) posted something on FB the other night in which he listed his family of sibs right up there with the things for which he is most grateful. It is everywhere in my family.Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-59762774677694227542012-11-20T19:37:06.741-08:002012-11-20T19:37:06.741-08:00Yes, it was certainly easy to be overlooked. As i...Yes, it was certainly easy to be overlooked. As in, really? was anyone seen? It's funny that you remember yourself as clamoring for attention. That's not how I remember it but I was younger and admired you a lot. You always seemed to have it all - you were cool, smart, funny, and way good at baseball. I stayed quiet and watched. And wondered how I could be you (or Brian).Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-82946311832225592032012-11-20T19:32:59.871-08:002012-11-20T19:32:59.871-08:00I'm sorry things are like that in your family....I'm sorry things are like that in your family. In this book, he writes about the varying degrees of closeness among adult siblings -- also, the strain that caring for elderly parents can bring to sibs. I know that I am lucky because we even share the care of my mom - some of the sibs have been more involved than others but all are present as best as they can be. <br />I'm glad you vented! Sometimes that's what blog friends are for!Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-29175535440437487882012-11-20T18:55:49.347-08:002012-11-20T18:55:49.347-08:00I was the middle of five, like Judy, and felt quit...I was the middle of five, like Judy, and felt quite close to all my siblings growing up. I've grown apart from all but the brother closest to me in age. I'm on speaking terms with the rest, except for my sister, but they have let me down when it came to the care of our parents. They all live in other states, while Mom lives near me.<br />Now that only my mother survives, the siblings don't help much, some not at all, not even with a phone call to Mom. My sister lies to me so often that I've had to break off contact to save myself. I do hope for reconciliation someday, even though the chances are slim. As close as we all were as kids, I never would have believed such estrangement could happen. Whew-- guess I vented a bit there!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01468655681800817415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-9437677812929428342012-11-20T08:00:39.285-08:002012-11-20T08:00:39.285-08:00Easy to stay overlooked and quiet? How about easy...Easy to stay overlooked and quiet? How about easy to be overlooked and clamoring for attention? Just asking...since I had three older bros and three that were younger, and of course, two little sistahs, that would reflect my take on a passel of siblings. To this day, the thing I hate the most is to be by myself. Could that be because there is no one from whom I can get attention?Mark O'Neillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16295762252612104201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7076749898853972198.post-44730512058394350622012-11-20T07:57:55.940-08:002012-11-20T07:57:55.940-08:00I think the bond between siblings is truly amazing...I think the bond between siblings is truly amazing. I am the middle of five. I don't live by any of them anymore and see them only occasionally due to distance, time and $. But I know, without doubt, that each of us is there for the other and would drop everything if we needed something. I feel really blessed. I bet you do too :)Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16917139752555698353noreply@blogger.com