Friday, February 17, 2012

Dreams with the Boys

      Night time has been quite captivating recently.  Men and boys seem to dominate my dreamworld these nights and they are always entertaining to me.  Who knows?  Maybe because I grew up in a household that resonated with male energy but I am amused by and so very comfortable with men and boys.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my girlfriends and I am in love with the feminine side of me but males?  They are fascinating to me and so much fun.

      So what's up with dreams filled with men pretending to be my father, with uncles refusing to hug me when all I wanted to do was connect with my dead father, with brothers not letting me drive, with wannabe male cousins telling me I can't drive, with me being banished from "Papa's bathroom" and being relegated to using the shower in the "boys' bathroom"  (clarification:  as a teenager, there were two bathrooms in our house.  One was for use by the 'rents and the two girls in the family;  the other was for the seven boys in the family)?  The dreams are resplendent in male references and female energy is completely absent, except for me, and I am all girl in the dreams.

       I am one of those characters who likes to explore dreams.  I think any meaning ascribed to my dreams has to come from me.  With that in mind, I looked up the definition of masculine and feminine:

masculine:  having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with men, especially strength and aggressiveness

feminine:  having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with women, especially delicacy and prettiness

  So, what might these dreams be saying to me?  The males dominate but usually in a negative way.  When the uncle refuses to hug me, he is denying me strength.  When these men won't let me drive, they are taking away my power.  No girls in these dreams, not even in the bathrooms!  What happened to delicate and pretty?  Oh, that's right, that's for more youthful people.... or, delicate suggests fragile.  Fragile is absent.

     It's all stream of consciousness, right?  Maybe there is strength to be uncovered?  Maybe I need to push past the strong influences in my life and emerge as a more balanced person?  Maybe I need to look more for vulnerability and fragility?  Maybe my own pseudo strength gets in the way and leaves me open to assault of one kind or another.  I suppose I will just have to wait and see what else is yet to be revealed.  Interesting stuff.

PS:  When I took the dogs on a dawn walk, I wrote a diatribe in my head about the state of California schools, particularly underfunded, small, non rural districts like my own.  Composing this rant in my head made me so angry that  I could literally feel the physical effects of rising blood pressure.  I decided instead to throw the piece onto the ground in the cow pasture which was along side the road where I was walking.  It belongs there with its own kind.
Aren't you proud of me?  And perhaps this is the toxic emotional waste to which you were referring, Tangled Lou?


  1. Ha! Perhaps, perhaps.
    RE: Dreams. In Jungian dream analysis, usually when one dreams of strong figures (male or female) they represent parts of the psyche. In the case of strong male dreams, it seems as though your subconscious is working out matters with your anima or exploring why it is that you won't allow that aspect of your psyche to empower you (i.e. not letting you drive) or perhaps why you reject that part of your (i.e. refusing to hug) and the biggest of all, looking for that guiding anima - your father - but not your actual father, but the strong masculine aspect of your own personality. Then when all of these things are resolved or integrated, you'll usually have some sort of union dream. That's the theory, anyway.

    1. Ugh 0 I just wrote a response and somehow the blogosphere ate it - whatever - enough to say that I do find Jung's dreamwork to be fascinating, though I seem to have a tough time internalizing it - I worked with some Gestalt therapists some time back and found that to be an interesting approach as well. It's all just a way to see what might be under the surface.

  2. Dreams are fascinating to me. I think they are glimpses into a much deeper level of self than we are normally able to see.

    (PS--Loved your PS, and loved the cow pasture image.)

    1. Agreed - I think that is why I like them so much. I see them as stories that are unfolding but I get to make sense of them - however they might make sense to me.
      and, yes, the cows were the perfect subjects for photo opportunities that morning!

  3. Oh, boy. I identify with your urge to try to figure out your dreams. Sometimes I have to mull mine over quite a while to find a meaning, sometimes I never do figure them out. Have you ever tried planting a thought in your mind to dream about as you are falling asleep-- maybe that it's your turn to drive? That has worked for me on occasion.

    I thought I was the only one who threw her mental blog posts into a metaphorical cow pasture!

    1. I mostly never do figure them out but they offer an engaging mystery. And, even if I don't know that I've "figured them out" I usually can get some kind of personal guidance or image from them.... not that I really spend that much time thinking about it. I keep a notebook by the bed and write out the ones that are startling or somehow attractive or intriguing. I have attempted to seek some answers via dreams by asking myself a question and looking to dreams for some answers. I't as good a method as many others, heh?

      and, I way often throw mental blog posts away but this was perfect - the pasture was there and the post belonged with the cow patties....

  4. JT, I love wandering in the dream world and can relate to your path of seeking some answers in that realm. If we accept the fact that you are the architec of your own dreams, you have in fact created this story. Dreams often try to find balance. As Melanie has mentioned above, you might consider "inviting" a female energy to join the dream. In the waking world your ego, or "JT" is in charge, but in the dream world other forces are at the helm to guide you to a new understanding about yourself. Right now the masculine energy appears to be running rough shod in the interior world, but, you may be able to influence this formula by introducing a different arrangement of the Ying/Yang energy. So, have at it!